SURPRISE!!! Being Married is Not a Job Qualification.

Yes – I’m not married.
Yes – I’m a wedding coach.
And yes – I’m damn good at what I do!
(pardon my humbleness, haha)

This might surprise you but there’s a baffling perception out there these days that most wedding professionals HATE, yet, have kept quiet about it. So I’ll happily be the one to break the silence.

I recently had someone tell me that they only want to work with wedding vendors who are married because they believe that unwed vendors are not qualified enough to do what they do. (Yep – insert look of shock and bubbling anger here.)

Seriously??? Let’s get realistic. Since when did someone’s marital status define whether or not they are a great wedding professional? After all, does an oncologist have to be a cancer survivor in order to be a great doctor? Does a school teacher have to have kids of their own to be a stellar teacher? No – of course not! They succeed at what they do based on knowledge, skill and experience. So why should it be any different in the wedding industry?

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I had heard such a perception from a soon-to-be bride or groom. So I can’t say that I was that shocked but what took me aback the most was the brashness of their comment. In most cases, people simply voice their perception by asking if I’m married, give a look of surprise when I say ‘no’ and then respond with something like ‘oh, I just assumed you were since you work in the industry.’

“A wedding professional isn’t a professional because, at one point in their life, they walked down the aisle.”

The funny thing is that a vast majority of wedding professionals are not married. I’m certainly not the only one and I am certainly not the only one who gets the ‘you aren’t married?!’ comments on a somewhat regular basis.

There’s a million reasons – yes, a million (haha) – why a wedding planner, florist, photographer, event designer etc. may not be married. And despite what most people think, it’s usually not because they are ‘sick of weddings.’ Their reasons are just like anyone else’s!

But there’s something that all of us unwed wedding professionals would like you to know…..

A wedding professional isn’t a professional because, at one point in their life, they walked down the aisle. They’re a professional because they’ve successfully helped others tie the knot more times than they can count. They’re a professional because they know the industry inside and out. They’re a professional because they devote hours upon hours towards becoming better and refuse to settle for mediocrity. And, they’re a professional because their knowledge, skills and experience allow them to anticipate and best serve the needs and wants of their clients.

Sure, being married helps by adding one additional notch on the proverbial ‘experience belt’. But does that one notch truly outweigh the other 100+ weddings that a vendor has successfully been a part of? Of course not!

So, when selecting your wedding professionals, just remember – knowledge, skill, experience and general good vibes between you and the vendor should always outshine their marital status.


Katrina Scarlett, Wedding Coach

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