Your large opinion circle is likely causing you more harm than good!

Have you picked a date yet? Where are you holding it? Who’s in your wedding party? What’s for dinner? What’s your colour palette? It’s going to be an open bar, right?

If you’re engaged, I can almost guarantee that you’ve heard every single one of these questions at least twice since you announced your engagement. The constant bombardment of questions is likely to drive you insane but what’s worse is the constant bombardment of opinions.

For some reason, announcing your engagement seems to give people the impression that they now have a free pass to tell you all of their thoughts as to how you should plan YOUR wedding. Of course, the majority of these people truly do just want to be helpful and don’t mean to cause any harm. But they usually don’t realize that you are getting blasted with the opinions of everyone else around you too.

Whether family, friends, work colleagues or the guy you sit beside every morning on the subway to work, all of the people who offer you their advice and opinions make up your “Opinion Circle”. Opinion circles exist in every area of our lives but when it comes to weddings, they always seem to take on the form of an ugly monster for some reason.

Even if you are just starting to plan your wedding, you are probably already feeling the pressure and stress caused by a large opinion circle. Believe it or not, there is such a thing as too much help. The constant advice and opinions of others quickly leads to information overload and can cause most people to second guess almost every decision they are making during their planning adventure.

“A large opinion circle can quickly become detrimental by allowing doubt to seep into your mind at every opportunity.”

DID I pick the right dress? What if my guests DON’T like crème brulee? SHOULD I have hired a full band instead a DJ? DOES my colour palette clash with the venue’s décor? WILL people be upset if we don’t cut a wedding cake? 

There’s nothing like being uber excited about a recent wedding decision only to have someone suck the enthusiasm right out of you and make you feel as if you’ve made a mistake. So what’s the solution? Simply put – you need to stand-up for yourself and believe in your decisions. And the best way to start is by limiting the number of people whose advice and opinions you accept.

How to Limit Your Opinion Circle

Step One:
Make a list of everyone currently in your opinion circle.
Name everyone from your family members to your dog groomer if you need to.

Step Two:
Circle your top 3-5 ‘go-to’ people.
These should be people whose opinions you value the most and people who you can trust have your best interest at heart and understand your wedding vision. This small group of people is now your official ‘opinion circle’.

Step Three:
Tell them.
Once these 3-5ppl know that you have hand selected them as your ‘team’, they will not only be honoured but they’ll be more engaged and invested in helping you.

Step Four:
Tell everyone else.
Be honest with those around you by letting them know you have decided to limit your intake of advice and opinions to a few select people. In most cases, they will fully understand and you’ll only need to tell them once.

Step Five:
Stick to your official opinion circle.
As difficult as it may be, avoid getting into wedding discussions with anyone else. The minute you start talking about your wedding planning experience with others, you give them permission to bestow their thoughts on you – whether you want it or not.

 

The other thing you’ll want to consider is your limiting your digital opinion circle. You might not think much of it but all of your online interaction with things like Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook Groups, etc. contribute to feelings of doubt and frustration. Rather than following 100’s for Pinterest boards or multiple wedding groups on Facebook, hand select only a few that fall in line with your vision and needs. By limiting your digital influences, you’ll not only reduce your influx of information but you’ll also likely save yourself a crazy amount of time – time that can be used actually planning rather than second guessing.

Narrowing down your opinion circle, both personal and digital, as early in your adventure as possible will save you months of frustration and stress so you can better focus your time and effort.

After all, in today’s world…you already have more than enough information coming at you. Why make it any worse?

HIGH FIVES & HAPPY PLANNING!
Katrina Scarlett, Wedding Coach

Want to chat about how I can help you navigate your wedding planning adventure? Let’s connect!